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I smirked, “I would have thought a lady like you would not read the smut that I write.” Then I chuckled. “You write as imornery81 don’t you?” she asked, smiling at me from behind her oversized sunglasses. I about shit and she laughed as she punched the accelerator and we pulled out into the road. “You told me online the other day that you were going on holiday! When you went to get dressed, Dad told me you wrote smut and it was really good, just like my American friend!” “That would make you….” “Yes, yes it does.” Her hand slipped into my lap and squeezed my bulge. “Wait until I tell my sister that it was you in our kitchen this morning! She might just squirt down her thin whore legs right then and there!!” Chloe laughed. “Hey, wait a second. If you take me to my client’s office, how am I supposed to get to a hotel or get my stuff that is back at James’ home? “I guess I will just have to come by and pick you up and take you back. But now that we know who you are, we will. The last thing I remember pouring on him was a bottle of white shoe polish. Don't ask me how it had ended up in my garage, I have no idea! Anyway, by the time the last bottle was emptied, 'Ralph' was covered with enough rat-poison, snake killer, motor oil, transmission fluid, bug spray, window cleaner, hand cleaner, tire cleaner, bleach and yes, shoe polish, to kill a small city. "Scream you bastard!" I said yelled furiously. Nothing! Defiant to the end, he didn't even groan! I fetched my garden-hose, turned on the water, and from five feet away, threw a match on 'Ralph'. First there was a loud puffing sound. That was followed by a kind of crackling snapping noise. Next, flames, accompanied by thick black smoke, suddenly rose six feet up into the air. "Now what do you have to say?" His response wasn't what I expected. "Oh shit!" I yelled as I watched him expand suddenly upwards into a topiary towering inferno of flames that was twice my height. I turned the hose on him and.
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